Thirteen Lessons From Working In A Grocery Store

Marshmallow Crispy Oreos

I have had a million jobs.

It started with a paper route when I was 12 - then baby sitting, and then everything from store detective at Bloomingdales (seriously the most fun job I've ever had). Waitress.  Paramedic. Sales for a Fortune 500 Company. Decorating cakes and cookies in a bakery. 

The one thing I've been consistent at is being curious and researching and writing. 

My writing may never lead to anything. 

I'm okay with that. 

I don't know that my husband is. 

He could end-up being my ex-husband if I don't win the lottery or sell a-lot of books. 

I knew as soon as the wrinkles and gray hair popped up on me he'd poop out!

At least I'm always working though (right?).

I know a few women who stay home and don't even clean or cook  and then bitch when the husband works too much. 

Not that I cook (anymore). And at least I pick up the dog poop in the yard. 

But you'll never  hear me complain that my husband works too much! Or golfs too much. 

The key to a great relationship is to spend as little as time together as possible. I read it in TIME magazine, so it must be true. 

I've met so many people. Learned so much about human nature. And what I discovered is, no matter WHERE you work...from slinging bacon to saving lives; it is always the same. 

Clicks. "In groups." 

Miserable co-workers who bitch about their bosses and the job but do nothing to change it. Employees who WANT to raise their voice and change things, but they have obligations to meet and so, they don't want to rock the boat. But please, if you're not willing to rock the boat, stop complaining about the stagnate sea. Muck it up or suck it up and shut up. 

And it seems the more diplomas and certifications/schooling  that bosses/managers have, the more removed from acting with common sense and kindness they become. My best bosses have been the ones with the least "professional" schooling and the most experience in the field. 

  

The past year, I worked at a grocery store part-time. That job has taught me much more than I ever expected to learn about human nature. 

Who knew working in a grocery store could provide so much insight to life? 

The Top Thirteen Lessons I've Learned From Working In A Grocery Store: 

1) We are HUGELY influenced by what we are exposed to. This sound ridiculously simple and like plain common sense. But I don't think we are really, acutely aware how influenced we are by the people/culture we surround ourselves with. How greatly it impresses the choices we make. I worked in a fabulous BAKERY and didn't gain any weight! Tortes. Cookies. Cheesecake. CANOLI cheesecake! Gained no weight!

Then I worked at a grocery store and gained almost fifteen pounds. It also gave me huge insight into why we are so fascinated with sex, fitness, sports, and, of course, food.  - I will write more on this in the future. 

2) Old People (I'm talking late 70's and 80's)- have far more pride and determination to remain self-sufficient than most young people I know. 

 Even though they have disabilities, they refuse help to the car. One sweet older lady who suffered a stroke and has only use of one arm, always turns down my offer to help her outside, saying, "Save the offer for someone who really needs it." They set a great example to me and give me something to strive for. 

3) Far too many people abuse food stamps. This is not a racial thing. All colors do it. All nationalities do it. What PISSES ME OFF is, that the senior citizens I described in #2, count their pennies (literally!), and live on oatmeal and fruit. The people abusing food stamps are carrying Coach purses, have manicures, and rack up 300 dollars on shrimp, steak, Cheetos, soda, and snack cakes. It's disgusting. 

4) Criminals have more protection than honest citizens due to lawyers and threats of lawsuits. Our country is upside down:Corruption is ignored or worse, rewarded!  Shoplifters are rarely stopped and even rarely ever prosecuted. You have to be REALLY STUPID to get yourself arrested. 

5) Liberals allow their kids to roam the store and stand on the seat of the carts. This does not apply to all liberals; only the liberals that wear Birkenstock sandals.  And have unshaven armpits. And filthy FILTHY re-useable bags (why can't you WASH these out? Do you realize how many germs they have?) They also rarely donate to charity. They buy gluten free and organic everything. 

6) Conservatives donate to charity almost every-time they come in. I know they are Conservative because they wear USA PROUD hats, send their kids to the local Catholic school, and talk about Trump in hushed, reverent tones. They also profusely thank the physically/mentally challenged baggers even though the baggers often put their cakes in the bag upside down and sideways. Note:*** There are a few customers I have on the "Right"  that are so smug and superior and pretentious (they buy Philadelphia Magazine), they can't even look me in the eye, god forbid they acknowledge me when I thank them and tell them to enjoy their day! They are, however,  the exception. 

7) The self-check out computers make mistakes. Often. 

8) The decision makers at the corporate office are completely, irresponsibly, out of touch with real life. Every solution seems to be: "computerize!" 

9) Low prices are fabulous, but they only get you so far. Customers would pay more to have cheerful, thoughtful, well trained, dependable,  employees. 

10) People are REALLY GETTING TIRED of being asked to donate for a new charity every-time they come in. It's getting out of hand. And employees are just as tired and feel awful for harping after customers to donate. However, employees have been threatened with write-ups and possible termination for not asking each customer. 

11) I'd say half the teenagers stand at the end of the checkout, scrolling through their iphones instead of helping to bag the groceries if there is no bagger. The parent ends up bagging while the kid stands there. Holy heck. This is why we are spiraling down the tubes people! Parents allowing perfectly capable kids to stand around while the parent does the work! See my number #2 lesson. 

12) Oreo's come in a variety of flavors and they are constantly changing. They are available only for a Limited Time. The limited time is a marketing ploy to get people to buy them. It works on me. Every. Single. Time. 

They are the number one purchased brand of cookie.  

13)  Almost everyone buys bananas. 

Steak. Shrimp. And Food Stamp Abuse.

Two things I know for sure about myself:

1.) I am insanely curious. About people. What makes people tick. What is needed in this life to make for the ultimate life experience. I love going to bars, not so much for the drinking (these days), but for the conversation. People and their stories intrigue me, inspire me, and sometimes horrify me (looking at you liberals!).

2). I don't tolerate bullshit.
     I've tolerated much bullshit in my personal life. Because I once believed you never abandoned family or  commitments. I also had that gene that most women have that believe we can somehow change a person for the better if only we love them enough. (This is totally false as I've learned).

So personal bullshit, I once tolerated, not so much anymore. And I'm not sure if I have less personal bullshit in my life because I don't tolerate it or because I've just been lucky enough to be surrounded by some great people.

However, in my professional life, I tolerate NO bullshit. I do not kiss ass. This has led to me working many different jobs. Which gives me a vast amount of knowledge about many careers.

Worked for a fortune 500 company. Was one of the top producing sales reps. I was told that what made our company different from our competitors was that WE would not lie to our customers. Our company stood for honesty, values.  Then I found out that this was NOT true at all. I couldn't lie to my customers. I had really believed it in the beginning, and so it was easy for me to "upsell" my customers. I believed we were an honest company. I believed we were better. I showed up at 6am for meetings with construction customers. I called one company manager who used our competitor every Friday to ask him to give us a shot at his business. I left very funny (well, I thought they were funny) messages. Every Friday he ignored me and I left a voicemail. Then after 3 months, I missed a Friday. He called me. And after two meetings, he dropped our competitor and went with us.
And then I found out we were ripping off our customers. My sales dropped. I was furious. I was also young. Naive. I left emotional calls to the head of the company. They were worried I would make such a commotion that they offered to buy my silence and I accepted. Looking back, it was not much money, but for a young single mother, it was enough to help me get caught up paying my bills.

I was a paramedic. Loved that job. Despite a really shitty boss. I ended up leaving that job after getting stuck with a dirty needle and my boss never sent in the paperwork - which ended up causing me to wonder if i'd contracted AIDS or Hepatitis for over a month. (I'd have known within 24 hours had he sent in the paperwork as required by law).

I was an undercover store detective. Seriously the most fun job I've ever had. No money in it though. But seriously fun.

Anyway. I've worked many more jobs. I'll probably continue to work many more. For me, the more I experience, the more I understand, the more I understand life.

Right now I'm working as a cashier at a grocery store. I love it. I love the brief encounters I have with people. Most of them are happy (they are buying food, after all!). I learn so much from just a few moments. I can spot the people who will be buying organic. I can spot the people who will argue with me about coupon expiration dates. I can spot the people who will be buying Red Bull and paying for it with crumbled dollar bills and change.

What I can't spot, however, are the SNAP (food stamps) customers.

I can tell you, SNAP is highly abused. And the abuse is not perpetrated by any one race or nationality. (Interesting note, when I was an undercover store detective, the majority of stealing was done by Russians.)

Some of my SNAP customers have jobs. However, they spend over 300.00 each time they shop and they are buying steak, Doritos, shrimp, Oreo's, and lobster.

Then, there was my customers; a very well dressed middle aged woman with a sleek modern haircut (think Lisa Rinna), nails perfectly manicured. She was with her mother - and older woman also smartly dressed. The older woman didn't speak English. They bought high end spaghetti sauce, olive oil that cost as much as 2 tickets to movie, and expensive, organic Italian herbs. Their bill was over two hundred dollars, and I had them pegged for classy Italians.
Well, these classy Italians paid with a SNAP card. I had to try hard to hide my disgust.
I have so many customers that are elderly. They live on a fixed income and make do with a banana, a few slices of lunch meat, and reduced bakery rolls. Often, they have to put an item back because they don't have enough money (usually they only spend about ten dollars).

I see so many families struggling. Watching what they are buying. While the people with government handouts? Top of the line seafood, steaks. Junk food. Gatorade. No store brand "generic" ice cream for them - it's Ben and Jerry's or bust!

And then...there is the couple that I refer to as WPOS. White Pieces of Shit.
She has a Coach purse. An unhealthy obsession with tanning beds. Diamond rings. She's eaten way too many cannolis but squeezes her body into flashy clothes. And her boyfriend. He's a skinny guy. Wears a sports shirts. Too much cologne. Always seems embarrassed to be seen with her. Or perhaps he's embarrassed that they use SNAP each time they buy their Red Bull, steak, and hoagie rolls. One Sunday he was wearing an Eagles jersey and I said I hoped the Eagles won, and he said, "Me too, were on our way to the bar to watch the game."
And then his tubby, overly leathery, girlfriend whipped out her diamond encrusted hand and swiped her SNAP card to pay for their groceries.

Ah, this cashier job at the grocery store. I don't get paid much. But the lessons I'm learning are invaluable. Most of my customers rock. They are awesome and kind and funny. They are eager to share their favorite recipes. Their favorite new ice cream.

The people I work with. Interesting. So many personalities. From the 77 year old man who lost his wife to cancer and is now pushing carts around the parking lot because he has to pay for obscene medical bills to the quiet teenager who works his ass off in order to save money for college. To the manager who makes out with her boyfriend in front of customers. While she's working!

The management...well, that is yet another story. For the first time in my life, I can see where the advantage of a Union might make sense. Though I still believe that if employees stuck together there wouldn't be a need for a union. However, in my richly varied career experiences, I've learned that people are easily intimated and influenced when their livelihoods are threatened. It's easier to remain quiet and under the radar and complain quietly than it is to stand up to people taking advantage of you.

The grocery store is like a blue collar soap opera. I love it.

What I do not love, however, is the abuse of the food stamps. What I do not love is watching as elderly people quietly (never complaining) struggle to make ends meet with a few bananas and reduced baked goods while the people getting help from the government buy shrimp, lobster, and steak.

We need is a complete overhaul of the welfare system. End it. All.
Start over again so that those who truly need it (and I see a-lot of customers that could benefit from Welfare but refuse the help) actually receive it.  With the advances of social media, Go Fund Me organizations, etc, there is no reason that we can't help each other. Take it out of the government hands and put it in the hands of the people, of the local community, local churches, local volunteer organizations.

Unless, of course, you enjoy being abused and used, working your ass off, clipping coupons to save money so that you can supply steak and shrimp for those who use their money getting manicures, tans, and Coach purses and your money for buying their food.

Welcome To The College Class Of Grocery Cashering

Today was a very odd day at work.
I often feel like I'm being filmed by a hidden TV camera and the goal is "How crazy can people act before she realizes this is all a joke?"

Came in at 8:45 am - crisp morning that was warming up. Started off sunny but clouds were rolling in.

It's been two weeks being behind the register and I still love it. I love having the ability to glimpse inside peoples kitchens, inside their lives.

Doritios, Fritos, Cheetos, soda, sour cream and onion dip; these customers have parties or friends over often. Probably fun people.

Go-gurts, snack pacs, Gatorade - sports players in the family.

Organic chicken, organic carrots, organic broccoli crowns, organic wild rice - probably intellectually influenced. And live too far from Whole Foods.

I love when moms (most often it's moms, sometimes dads) come in and buy 300.00 worth of groceries. Pancake mixes! Chocolate Chip nestle morsels! Ice cream! Cereal! Waffles! Hamburger meat, chicken, bacon, potatoes...this is a family where one parent is lucky enough to stay home. Where the mom makes dinners, breakfast, dessert. Rushes home to be there when her kids get home from school. There are often coupons involved and the mom's eyes light up when she realizes how much money she has saved the family because she has been diligent (I love when they save money too).

When I was a paramedic I loved a glimpse of life into my patients homes. So little could tell me so much. But that's for another story.

I have a feeling I'm one of the few people that think like I do. But I've noticed that people look at me as if they feel sad for me when I tell them I'm a cashier at a grocery store. I'm sure they think, "So much talent, WASTED on a boring job."

Don't feel sad for me. I love it. I like to think about the families gathered around together eating. Or the single man making his chicken nachos while watching a football game, or the old couple enjoying a cup of soup while they read the paper.

I love to see the new food that comes out - Rice Crispy Oreos! Pumpkin Spiced Keebler cookies! Things I would never think to look for.
I love seeing the creativeness of food - and the people willing to try new stuff. And I admire the customers who stick to the tried and true - there's something comforting about green beans and water chestnuts and French onions.

The people I work with may be an odd lot, some of the customers a bit crazy, but this being a cashier is very similar to being a medic - a brief encounter into the life of people. As a medic I tried to make them better. As a cashier, I smile and genuinely ask, "How are you today?" and I mean it. It's not something I say because the company wants me to, it's because I mean it. If you want to make small talk with me, I'm more than happy to engage in conversation.

Because I still believe people matter. Kindness matters. Caring matters. People are fascinating. We all have stories to tell...and I love the stories that people tell as I place their bananas on the scale, as I scan the cake flour, the apples, the brown sugar, and the eggs.

Wasting my time as a cashier? Nah. I may not have a seat in the front row of life like I did when I was a paramedic, but now I have something better: a window seat! Instead of worrying about getting stuck with a dirty needle, I only have to worry about getting chicken juice on my hand. I don't have to worry about how I'm going to carry a large person down three flights of stairs...I only have to worry how I'm going to pile all the bags of groceries into the customers cart.

I love my window seat. I love the glimpse I have into what comforts people, what brings people together (roast beef, baking potatoes, rolls, apple pie),  and how people celebrate (soda, cake, ice cream, chips, cookies). What they eat when their alone (frozen dinners). What they eat when they are studying (Red Bull and potato chips). What they eat when they are going on a road trip to a wedding (Goldfish crackers, muffins, Twizzlers). What they buy for the anniversary of the death of their spouses (flowers).

I only work four hour shifts, which is perfect. Because as much as I love what I do, by the end of my hour hours, I've had enough of making chit-chat. Just because I generally like people, doesn't mean I want to be around them all the time. At the end of my four hours, I'm eager to purchase those Rice Krispy Oreos and escape home, where I can eat my cookies (which are fabulous by the way), sip my coffee (or wine, depending on the scale of crazy my day was), and reflect on the personalities I've met; the nice people, the mean people, the barely getting by people, and the rich people - all telling me their stories through the food they choose.

Nope, don't feel sorry for me. Feel sorry for those cashiers that think their job is boring - they haven't yet figured out that it's a psychology/sociology/marketing class they are getting paid to attend.